Love Hurts
by makorrian
Summary: A series of stand-alone oneshots concerning Bolin's feelings for Korra. Borra with mentions of Makorra and Masami.
1. Broken

The first time he asked her on a 'date', he knew she didn't think of it as a date. He knew it wasn't a date, either, but since he wished so badly it was, he decided to pretend.

It had started as an attempt to cheer her up; he saw how she looked at Mako and Asami, with jealousy, heartbreak, sadness, and longing in her eyes. He could relate to that heartbreak and sadness, and, well, he wanted to imagine that the longing in her eyes was for something, the relationship that Mako and Asami had, and not for Mako. Though deep down, Bolin knew the truth.

"Hey, Korra," he'd said one day after practice. "What do you say me and you go get dinner tonight? I know this great place downtown, cheap and awesome, with huge noodle bowls!"

She'd smiled, then, probably at his enthusiasm concerning food. The first _real_ smile he'd seen on her face for longer than he cared to remember; not the fake, wavering smiles that usually were accompanied by her affirmative answer when being asked how she was and was she okay after what happened with Amon.

"Alright," she said, and Bolin felt his heart soar, despite the fact that _it wasn't a date_. He repeated this to himself continuously as some sort of mantra, but some part of him was very loath to believe this. That part was the one filled with jealousy, heartbreak, and sadness. And that horrible, unfading longing. For _her_.

* * *

Now, she's smiling slightly as he chatters on and on about food, Pro Bending, the city nightlife; anything except his brother and said brother's new girlfriend. He's hoping to infect her with some of his never-fading enthusiasm; he can't stand the dull, lifeless, unenthusiastic Korra that's replaced the boisterous, larger-than-life person she was. Before Amon. Before Asami. Bolin isn't sure who the main antagonist here is.

"Here it is!" he exclaims, gesturing at the small, cozy restaurant in front of them. "Come on!" Acting on a whim, Bolin grasps her hand and leads her inside. The restaurant, as per usual, is packed, buzzing with the sound of conversation and laughter. They choose a small, cozy booth in a corner, and he can't help but smile at Korra.

She looks beautiful; she always does. And he wishes he could tell her, along with everything else he wants to tell her. But that would drive a wedge between them, and that can't happen. So Bolin tells himself that at least they're friends, good friends. And he keeps pretending he's on a date with her.

* * *

He slurps down his noodles happily, watching as Korra attacks her food; it's the first time she's done more than pick at her dinner for quite a while, now, and a sense of accomplishment overcomes him.

"You were right," she grins happily, and he feels his heart pounding in his chest. "This was great. Thanks for asking me out to dinner."

He imagines she's said _"Thanks for asking me out on a date."_

* * *

The second time he asked her on a 'date' was also the last time.

Like the first time, he'd caught her face fall as she spotted Mako and Asami, wrapped in a tight embrace, lips locked together; he'd hurriedly caught up to her as she began walking away and quickly racked his mind for an idea.

"Hey, what do you say we go for a walk in the park tonight?" he asked. "I bet you haven't seen how it's lit up at night; it's really beautiful." _So are you_, he wanted to add. "Why don't you come by later tonight when you're done with your training? I'm always home."

And she'd smiled slightly, and Spirits, he'd do anything to have her smile at him like that all the time, and why did it hurt so much?

* * *

"You were right," Korra says softly, a trace of sadness in her voice. "It _is_ beautiful."

They're strolling around in the park, surrounded by, Bolin notices, nobody but other couples. And he hastens to remind himself that he and Korra aren't a couple. _Not yet_, a foolish, stupid part of his mind whispers; and Bolin keeps pretending that Korra isn't head over heels for Mako, whilst trying to forget that he himself is head over heels for _her_.

Korra stops on a bridge over a small pond, staring down at her reflection in the rippling water. He joins her, and they stand in silence. He's the one to break that silence, turning to her with a worried expression on his face.

"Korra, are you alright?" he asks. "I don't mean concerning Amon, I mean with Mako and-"

"Don't!" she exclaims, and to his horror, he sees that her eyes are watering, her mouth trembling ever so slightly. And, because he has no idea what else to do, because the sight of her with tears in her eyes is breaking his heart, because he's wanted to do this for so long, he leans forward and kisses her.

Her lips feel wonderful against his, soft yet supple, and he closes his eyes, imagining that he could do this whenever he pleased, that she would be the one to kiss him, that she'd love him the way he loves her. Instead, she steps away, the tears now running down her face.

"I can't do this, Bolin," she whispers, and her voice is so sad that his throat constricts, and he wills himself not to start bawling like a child in front of her. "I'm sorry."

And then she turns, and she runs away, away from him. And he's left there to pick up the pieces of his broken heart, alone.


	2. Arrangements

Here, have some more feeling-vomit of mine.

* * *

She's walking through town, alone, on her way back to Air Temple Island; it's late at night, and the streets are deserted. She's thinking about the Pro Bending championship, so focused on remembering all the rules and various strategies, that she doesn't even notice the figure in the shadows before it's too late.

He appears behind her, and she barely manages to get a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye. Whirling around, she plunges her fist forward in a sharp, Firebending movement, but no fire appears. She can't bend.

_She can't bend._

_Why can't she bend?_

Fear overwhelms her, nearly incapacitating her, as Amon stealthily darts towards her. Unsteadily, she takes a few steps backward, preparing herself for the hand-to-hand combat; the one thing she's never been good at, the one thing she refused to practice because she wasn't good at it from the very beginning, didn't excel at it.

She manages to avoid his first few blows, ducking and dodging clumsily, but then, faster than she can comprehend, he's dealt sharp, jabbing hits to various places of her body, and, temporarily paralyzed, she falls to the ground, unable to move.

She's hyperventilating with fear, her heartbeat so loud that she's surprised she can hear his words over the frantic pounding in her ears.

This is it.

Amon takes a step towards her, his masked face seemingly leering down at her.

"I told you I would destroy you." He says coldly. "And I intend to fulfill that promise, Avatar."

He reaches for her, his hand slowly nearing her face, and then-

* * *

She wakes up, screaming at the top of her lungs, drenched in sweat and still terrified. Frantically, she looks around the room, reassuring herself that she's safe, that nobody's going to ambush her, not here, because one of the guards must have noticed if someone unknown had arrived at the island.

Naga whines uneasily, looking at her with soulful, questioning brown eyes.

That does it. Sobbing, Korra crawls out of bed and hugs as much of Naga's large head as she can, burying her hands into the soft, warm fur.

"Oh, Naga," she whispers sadly. "If only you could talk to me. I'm so afraid, and I don't know what to do."

Naga sighs, resting her head in Korra's lap, and Korra reflects upon the fact that she's never felt so alone before. True, Naga had always been her best friend and was always there for her, but Naga didn't have an opinion on this issue, not really, and while Naga could comfort her and offer companionship, she couldn't give advice.

Which was what Korra needed most at this point in her life.

* * *

"Right, so if the opposing team's Waterbender plans on striking with their Firebender over here-" Mako points to a spot on the diagram of the arena spread out on the table in front of them "-then that move's called a- Korra? Are you even _listening_?"

"Huh?" She asks blearily, trying to focus on Mako's explanation.

He sighs. "We don't have a chance in the championship if you don't start trying. We were already rookies before you came along, and now we're the rookiest of the rookies. You know, I don't know what's gotten into you and Bolin; you're both completely distracted and you guys are getting everything wrong when we practice. Don't you understand that if you two don't-"

"Yeah. Whatever." She cuts him off mid-tirade, getting up and heading for the door.

"Just give her a break, Mako," Bolin calls wearily from the other side of the attic, setting down the newspaper. "We've still got a week, and it's _late_."

Mako's scowl deepens. "Do the two of you even understand how important this is? Why- ugh! The two of you drive me crazy!" Throwing up his hands in disgust, he strides over to the door, yanks it open, and leaves, slamming the door in his wake. Korra walks over to the couch, plopping down next to Bolin and yawning hugely.

He glances over at her. "Having trouble sleeping?" She nods, rubbing her eyes. "Can't remember the last time I've slept through the whole night," she mutters. Bolin nods sympathetically.

"I still can't sleep well!" he exclaims, repeating his words to her when he brought her a flower and a cupcake at the island. "I mean, man, I thought I'd be over it by now, but nope. It still gives me nightmares."

Suddenly, it strikes her that Bolin understands. He understands what it's like to be afraid, understands what it's like to be alone; in a way, his confrontation with Amon forced him to grow up, forced him to face the harsh reality in which they all lived. Just as her confrontation with Amon forced her to confront her fears, forced her to accept that she wasn't invincible.

"Me too," she mutters. "Hey, can I stay over tonight? I'll sleep on the couch, I've already missed the last ferry and it's too cold to swim."

Bolin nods happily. "Sure you can, Korra! I bet Mako's gone to see Asami, so he's probably gone for the night. You can take his bed."

Mako. Usually, the implication of him spending the night with Asami would have sent a pang of jealousy through her, but Korra's too tired to care. He can do whatever he wants to, the jerk. All she wants is a good night's rest.

"Come on," Bolin says. "I'll show you the loft."

* * *

Eventually, she falls asleep, lying in Mako's bed and trying not to think of the fact that he's probably lying in Asami's bed. Without clothes. With Asami.

She wakes in the middle of the night, gasping for breath, the vague memory of a nightmare creeping into her mind. Indiscernible faces in the shadows, whispering, everything cold and dark. Bolin's turning in his sleep, muttering uneasily.

Korra breathes deeply and closes her eyes, trying to fall back asleep. Her eyes fly open at the anguished scream that comes from the other side of the small loft; dashing out of bed, she runs over to Bolin and realizes that he's still asleep. He's thrashing around wildly, face contorted into a mask of pain. She grabs his shoulder and shakes roughly. "Bolin! Wake up!"

His eyes snap open and he draws in a shuddering breath. "Korra? What's going on?"

"You were having a nightmare. Me, too, actually." She says in way of explanation.

He laughs hoarsely, weakly. "This happens almost every night. Mako usually has to shake me awake, too."

Suddenly swaying on her feet from lack of sleep, Korra gives Bolin's shoulder a small shove. "Scoot over," she says. His green eyes widen slightly in the dark, but he complies, and she's too tired to care about whatever consequences her actions might have. All she wants now is to sleep.

She crawls in next to Bolin, relishing the way his arm snakes around her waist, holding her tightly against him. She curls against his chest, tucking her head under his chin, and falls asleep.

* * *

She wakes in the morning from the light streaming into the attic from all angles. Blinking, she sits up, rubbing her eyes. Bolin stirs next to her, and the events from the middle of the night crash down upon her. Strangely, she doesn't feel awkward or embarrassed; this feels right to her.

"I didn't have any more nightmares," she tells him quietly, shyly smiling. He smiles back, a shy yet sweet expression on his face. "Me either," he tells her, slinging his arm casually around her shoulders. "So, uh, can we.. continue with this?" he asks. "Just, you know, because both of us will be able to sleep better. Not that I'd want this for any other reason, I mean, it's not like, well.. can we do this?"

Korra doesn't see the harm in this arrangement. She nods.

* * *

They've been sleeping – literally sleeping - together for about a week, when it happens. Mako, whose been absent every night up until now, stumbles in just as dawn breaks and climbs up into the loft. Korra, always a light sleeper, opens her eyes and wearily regards him head for his bed.

Suddenly, he spots her, curled, as usual nowadays, into Bolin's side, his arm wrapped around her, her messy, tangled hair spread over Bolin's pillow. His eyes – red and puffy, she sleepily notes – widen at the sight, and for some reason, he looks sad, so sad.

Korra thinks she sees a tear slip down Mako's face, thinks she might have heard him stifle a sob, but when she wakes again, late in the morning, she's sure it was just a dream.


	3. Five

The first time he hugged her was when she appeared, obviously distraught, knocking on their door in the middle of the night.

Sleepily, Bolin dragged himself out of bed, noting that Mako's bed was empty. The door opened to reveal Korra; the first thing he took note of was her expression. Her mouth trembled slightly, her eyes watering, arms wrapped around herself miserably.

He knew without asking what had happened; she'd seen Mako with Asami one too many times. And even though his heart hurt – why couldn't she see what lay right before her? Why was she blind to the way he felt about her? – he pulled her into a hug, stroking her back and holding her tightly until she relaxed, sagging against him.

And then he pulled her inside, sat her down at the small, rickety table in their kitchen, made her tea and waited for her to talk, all the while pretending she came to him for comfort because she'd been sad about something completely else and didn't have a crush on his brother.

* * *

The second time he brought her a flower was, simply, to cheer her up, despite the fact that the rose he'd given her the first time hadn't exactly cheered her up very much.

He'd put even more thought behind this gift than the first flower; he'd read about it in a book, then, after many days, spotted a specimen at the local market. Of course, he'd been utterly discouraged when he found out the price.

"That much?" he'd sputtered. "But.. but.. I.." The old, wrinkled florist smiled at him. "For a special girl, is it?" she'd asked, clapping her hands together in delight. "I see you mean to win over her heart with this flower; she'd be a fool to turn you down. Why, any young man who goes to such lengths is definitely a keeper!"

He'd smiled, too. "Yeah, but she's been pretty sad lately.. I thought this'd cheer her up." The woman's smile grew. "Here," she'd said, picking up the flower and carefully wrapping it in a newspaper. "You take this; give it to your girl, and be happy. Ah, young love.."

He'd thanked her profusely, then hurried to Air Temple Island.

"It's a Panda Lily!" he exclaimed eagerly, brandishing the flower at Korra. Bolin saw the flash of recognition in her eyes, and he knew she knew what the lily was a symbol for.

"Do you.. are you.. trying to imply something with this?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. He was tempted to say yes, tempted to tell her the truth, so tempted to ask her out. But he knew what her answer would be, so he merely shook his head quickly.

"Nope!" he said, hoping she didn't see his face fall when he saw the slight relief that passed over her face. "Of course not, Korra. Hey, did you hear that Avatar Aang once tried to find one of these for Katara? Did she ever tell you that?"

And then he prattled on to hide the longing, that aching longing, inside of him.

* * *

The third time he read about her on the newspaper, he realized how ignorant, how naïve he and Mako had both been.

He realized how vulnerable Korra was, how fragile she, too, could be, and he realized how neither he nor Mako had been there for her the way she needed after her confrontation with Amon. So Bolin set out to make things right.

"I'm sorry," he said, ashamed of himself, unable to meet her confused gaze. "We weren't there for you, neither of us were; we weren't the friends you deserved to have. So I want you to know, you can always talk to me, Korra. I'll always be here for you."

And then he wanted to kick himself for saying that; because it was true, too true, because he'd always be waiting, just in case she changed her mind. And he wanted to kick himself for feeling like crying.

* * *

The fourth time he rode on Naga, he was the one directly behind Korra.

He had his arms wrapped around her waist as they galloped through the streets, and it was as if the shouts and blaring Satomobile horns didn't even exist; all that he was aware of was how right this felt; to hold Korra in his arms, however wrong the situation was.

Bolin closed his eyes and focused solely on this moment; how Korra's back was pressed to his chest, how his arms were wrapped around her waist, how soft yet muscled she was, how beautiful yet strong she was.

And then, that night, he lay awake, feeling the loneliness slowly consuming this, wondering how the one girl he fell for, actually fell for, would be the one that was just out of his reach.

* * *

The fifth time he saw her in their attic, he walked in on her kissing Mako.

Bolin knew Mako and Asami had broken up, and he knew Korra still had feelings for his brother. But he'd pushed these thoughts away, and he'd focused on Pro Bending. Because, he told himself, it wouldn't happen anyways. Mako didn't like Korra, not like that.

He stood there, quietly watching as Mako kissed Korra back, as she ran her hands through his hair, as he moved his hands to her chest. He stood there, feeling his world come crashing down around him.

And then he turned around and left, the tears already running down his face.


	4. Sunset

"Get out of the way, Korra! Beep beep! Come on, Meelo, hurry up, we're hittin' the _road_!" This exclamation, followed by laughter, is what Bolin hears as soon as he enters the large courtyard on Air Temple Island. The first thing he sees is Korra, sitting on the steps that lead down to the yard, laughing happily, and three kids crowding into a Satomobile.

"Hey!" he calls out, adjusting Pabu on his shoulder as he steps up to her. "Where'd you get the Satomobile?"

She waves her hand dismissingly at the Satomobile. "Oh, it was another gift from Tarrlok. It's pretty useless to me since I can't drive, so they're allowed to play in it."

He feels another unjustified pang of jealousy; not directed at Tarrlok, who is, after all, an unattractive old man (plus, Korra had said it wasn't like that); he's jealous concerning the fact that Tarrlok has the money to buy Korra a Satomobile as a present, just like that, whereas all of Bolin's spare change went to a rose and a cupcake. He just hopes that his gift meant more to her than Tarrlok's.

"So," he says, sitting down next to her and watching the kids play. "How're you doing? I mean, after that whole creepy thing with Amon. I'd be totally freaked out!" She actually smiles at him, which is an improvement, and he can't help but smile back.

"I'm okay," she says, happiness brimming in her eyes as she looks up at him. "I really am." He knows she's telling the truth; it's been a long, hard road for her, but she's overcome it.

"Andddd how do you feel about my brother, you know, dating Asami Sato?" Bolin's been skirting around this issue for as long as possible, but Korra doesn't seem like she's going to end up upset over this, not anymore. Instead, she laughs, a loud, bright sound that fills his heart with joy and affection.

"It's fine," she answers, smiling at him. "Really, Bolin. It is."

Her happiness infects him, and he smiles broadly at her, taking her hand in his. "That's great, Korra." He says.

She starts to reply, but is distracted by the three children running up to her, tugging at her clothes. "Come on, Korra, play hide and seek with us! Please, please, pleaaaaase!" the younger girl exclaims, bouncing around Korra in a circle. "Who's your cute frieeeend? Is he your new boyfriend? Will he play with us too?"

If he hadn't been watching her intently, Bolin would have missed the slight blush that bloomed on her face at the implication of him being her boyfriend. His heart took flight in his chest, hope fluttering in his stomach as he wondered if maybe, just maybe..

* * *

"Alright, Ikki, I think it's time for bed. Jinora, will you take Ikki and Meelo inside?"

The oldest girl, shy and sweet, nods and takes her siblings' hands, leading them inside the house. Korra laughs, then wipes her forehead with the back of her hand. "That was intense," she says. "Sorry you got dragged into that."

He smiles at her. "I had fun, too." Suddenly feeling uncomfortable, he runs a hand through his hair. "Uh, Korra.. there was something I wanted to tell you.. about, well-" Unsure of how to continue, he fidgets nervously, staring at the ground.

He's taken completely by surprise when Korra suddenly takes his hand, stepping forward to cover the distance between them. He's even more shocked when her lips are suddenly on his. It takes a moment for him to react, but then he closes his eyes and kisses her back, tangling one hand in her hair while the other runs down her back.

It's better than he's ever imagined, kissing her. The way she feels, the way she tastes, the small sounds she's making. He's just about to deepen the kiss when, suddenly-

"Ooh, Korra, are you kissing that boy? Why are you kissing him? Kissing is icky! Are you two-"

Korra breaks away from him, whirling around and sending a jet of fire at Ikki, who dodges, laughing cheerily. "Ikki!" she roars. "BED!" The girl zooms off on an air-scooter as Korra turns to face Bolin, blushing deeply. "Uhh.."

He grins at her, his green eyes bright with happiness, amazed at how beautiful she is; the sun is setting behind her over the city, reflected in the water, surrounding her in a halo of orange, pink and purple. Her blue eyes shine as she smiles shyly at him.

"You're beautiful," he whispers, reaching up a hand to cup her cheek. She leans into his touch, taking hold of his other hand.

"Do you.. I mean.. are we-?" she cuts herself off, blushing fiercely, and she's never been so adorable before in his eyes.

"If you want to," he says.

She nods.


	5. Rejected

Episode 5 did absolutely nothing to get me off my angsty roll. Here, let me kill your feelings even more.

* * *

He's never felt this way about a girl before, not ever.

They've all been pretty; that he can remember. But their names; they never stick. Not like this, where every time he hears her name spoken by someone else, every time he sees her, every time he hears her laugh, it sends a pang through him, so painful he feels like falling to his knees and sobbing.

The worst part was that she was kissing Mako, who, despite the fact that he was with Asami, had kissed her back. Bolin couldn't help the huge, bawling sob that escaped him as they broke apart, both spotting him, their eyes widening in horror.

He hadn't bawled like that since he was very little, not since the day he thought Mako had gotten kidnapped and was gone forever. The sobs that escaped him were nothing but pure grief; he didn't just have a crush on here.

He had fallen for her, hard.

Bolin knew it seemed ridiculous; how could you love someone you hadn't even known that long? How could you be in love with someone you'd only been on one date with, and when that girl only went on that date because she was upset, due to your brother being with his girlfriend while that girl likes your brother?

He couldn't explain it, but he knew it was true. Ever since he'd first met her, Korra had never been like any other girl. Ever.

But that didn't matter, not anymore.

"Hey." He childishly ignores her as she sits down on the edge of his bed, looking down at him where he's pitifully curled up on his side in his bed, where he's been all day. She sighs, looking down at her feet. "I'm really sorry, Bolin. I never meant to use you as a rebound because I was upset.. and I'm sorry you saw Mako and I.. when we.."

She trails off, and he's glad for that. He can't hear to hear Korra say "when I kissed Mako", because, deep down, he knows they both like each other. Bolin had heard Mako's answer when he'd asked what Mako thought of Korra in a girlfriend sort of way. He'd heard Mako's tone change to one of surprise, when Bolin specified he was interested in Korra, himself. He'd heard Mako's tone change to one of.. regret? Sadness? Unhappiness? when Bolin told Mako that he wanted to ask Korra out, that he liked her. Really liked her.

It had messed everything up, but despite what had happened, Bolin still likes her. Still loves her. Still is in love with her, no matter how unreasonable it seemed.

"Yeah," he grits out hoarsely, staring across the attic. "Doesn't change anything. You never liked me the way I liked you, Korra."

She takes his hand, which is lying atop the covers; he jerks it away. Her touch is too painful; it's not the kind of touch he wishes it was. It's merely one of friendship.. comfort.

"We can.. try, maybe," she says quietly, something he can't pinpoint in her voice. "Maybe.. I.."

No. He doesn't want to hear this. He doesn't want to hear how maybe, if they go out, maybe she'll come to like him the way he likes her, but most likely not. How maybe she'll forget about her feelings for his brother, but most likely not. How maybe they'd end up a couple, but most likely not. She'd just be trying to forget about her pain, and, in the process, cause him more pain.

"That's not a good idea, Korra," he whispers. "I'll be okay. You can go now."

He shuts his eyes, feeling her worried gaze bore into him, and knows she wants to say something else, but he can't bear this anymore. Bolin hears her quiet footsteps as she leaves, the door shutting silently behind her.

He has no idea where Mako is. He doesn't care. Mako can deal with his own problems; everything is pretty much Mako's fault, anyways. Deep down, he still knows he owes Mako everything, but he can't find it in himself to care after what's happened.

The irony of it all really hits him. The one girl he really wants, is the one he'll never have.


End file.
